Dr. Awesome’s 1-Line Reviews
What’s In Theatres Now — and what you shouldn’t bother spending money on.
Reviews by Dr. Awesome.
1) Shutter Island.
Leonado DiCaprio does a good job making an old story that’s been done to death… somewhat watchable.
2) Valentine’s Day.
Worst piece of shit ever.
3) Avatar
Best movie that’s ever been made, ever — James Cameron is a genius.
4) Percy Jackson & the Olympians
Dog the Bounty Hunter is more entertaining to watch than any of these terrible actors… except for Rosario Dawson, who needs far better roles.
5) The Wolfman
Love Anthony Hopkins, love Benicio Del Toro, so happy that they made something together — however, it’s one of those movies that you can wait to come out on DVD.
6) Dear John
Shoot me in the face — too bad Sarah from Big Love got cast opposite the biggest @^@#-ing idiot that exists on the planet. We like Sarah.
7) Tooth Fairy
Way too gay to even watch.
Crazy HeartJeff Bridges is so convincing he gave the entire theatre sorosis.
9) From Paris With Love
I’d rather watch a woman give birth to twins in slow motion than sit through the second half of this movie (that I walked out on)
10) Edge of Darkness
I don’t know what’s more upsetting. The fact that I paid money to see this, the fact that Mel Gibson is still making movies, the fact that this movie was made, or the fact that poor girls go missing in the world.
INDIE PICK
The Yellow Handkerchief
Too bad her vampire boyfriend in Twilight isn’t real, because if he was — she’d be a vampire and wouldn’t be able to make this movie because she’d be burned in the daytime. Then I wouldn’t have had to sit through this upsetting, marvelously horrid version of a Southern accent.
Laughed My Fucking Face in Two. I agree for the most part, I really liked Edge of Darkness Though. Mel Gibson is pretty Talented..
[...] anyone see her in Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief? No? Barely? Riiiight. (see Dr. Awesome’s 1-line reviews). That’s because she was cast in some mindless bimbo seductress role that didn’t [...]